Friday, March 29, 2013

What A Week.

It was some week here in the crazy house. The first half of the week was fantastic, albeit a little crazy. Today...well today was not so great.

Starting with the good--my financially-responsible-for-our-family husband decided we should refinance our house. I call him the financially responsible one because I literally know NOTHING about our finances. I don't pay bills, I. DO. NOTHING. It's horrible, I realize this. When poor Marty was in the hospital on the ventilator, in addition to the horror that was that entire experience, I was all too aware that bills were probably going unpaid. The day he came off of it, I was all, "OH, I'm so happy to SEE you, and can you give me your password to our bank account so I can make some payments so that we continue to have electricity?" We swore that he'd be my Yoda and teach me all there is to know about living as an adult, and yet, it still hasn't happened. It's on my to-do list. ANYWAY...he got all of the information, threw some forms in front of me to sign, and told me when to be there to close on the new loan. Now, I don't know all the details (because again...I am not the one who knows these things), but what I DO know is that our total house payment is going down by almost $400.00 a month! That's a lot of money to us!! When you couple in the fact that one of our cars will also be paid off shortly--that's about $700.00 extra a month. There aren't words for the happiness that this brings. We love our preschool, and it's not the most expensive in the city, but it's definitely up there--as in our monthly preschool payment was almost double our old mortgage. Yeah. So, now we have a little breathing room to pay a few more things off, and then work on our house to get it ready to sell in the next few years. When the kids finally go to Kindergarten in public school, I will be the crying parent dropping off her children that first morning. Only my tears--they'll be tears of joy. For the extra money. And the ability to finally move out of our tiny house and into something more comfortable. Tears of joy, I tell you.

The extra money leads to the next exciting event of the week. I'm going on Spring Break, y'all!! Monday night, I looked at the local weather forecast for this coming week--my spring break. I saw chances of snow and almost cried. I sent a desperate but not totally serious text to my friend Julie--something about wanting to just get in the car and drive south, and she was all, "I'm in--let's go!" I talked to my amazing husband, and the next thing you know, we're booking a stay on Amelia Island! A girls' trip--just her and I--to go somewhere warm and do absolutely, 100% nothing. Temps in the mid/upper 70s. Sign me up. I have to admit--I'm having some pretty severe guilt issues over this. My guilt complex is a whole 'nother post though, for another time. Marty said to go (I'm making it up to him by sending him on a golf weekend later in the year...), I'm going. We leave Sunday and come back Thursday. My biggest worry is blinding someone with my pasty, frightening skin. Hope everyone wears their sunglasses.

I was riding on the high of the trip and the extra money, but then came crashing down today. Now, if you're a male reader, you might want to skip this part. I promise not to go into uncomfortable details, but this part does involve me mentioning reproductive "stuff". I'm not embarrassed to talk about it in the least, but I know not everyone is as down with that kind of conversation as me. So...feel free to skip ahead. A little background: in 2005, I had an exploratory laparoscopy. I had some symptoms of endometriosis and we were in conversations about trying to have kids, so this was a logical step. When they got in there, they found a tumor on my left ovary and a TON of endometriosis (I'm on my iPad and can't link, but a quick google will give you all the info you want). They removed the ovary to be on the safe side, because I have a significant history of breast cancer in my family and ovarian and breast cancers are related. So...I woke up to no ovary and the news that my fertility was in the crapper. Yay. This is why we have twins--we had to do IVF to conceive, because Marty and I are the least two fertile people on the planet. Anyway, endometriosis isn't something that goes away once you have surgery. It's going to come back repeatedly until either menopause or a hysterectomy. Fast forward to today. I was talking to some of my co-workers about wanting a new OB/GYN. I wasn't crazy about my last guy, and I have a whole fun PTSD issue with that particular office, as that's who treated me when I was pregnant and we thought Amelia wasn't going to live. I cried in that waiting room more times than I care to think about. I wanted a change of scenery. My friend recommended her guy--but he's a Gynecologic Oncologist. I've never actually HAD cancer, so I was unsure, but she told me that she felt like if I told them everything--the history of breast cancer in the family, the endometriosis, the tumor on the removed ovary--that they would see me. I've always felt like, because of all of that complicated crap, I needed someone who was better than the average OB/GYN, so I called them. They were wonderful, and got me in today. Now ladies, you know how long it can take to get into an OB/GYN. They got me in the next day. This is unheard of. Part of their initial screening--since it is technically an oncologist--is to do a pelvic ultrasound to see what things look like. I went into this with no expectations of anything--I've had a hundred of these in my life, so no big deal, and I didn't think anything was wrong. Whatevs--who cares. They take pictures of...well, I'm not sure what all they take pictures of, but the pictures immediately go to the doctor, who talks to you about them right away. When the doctor came in today, I was totally shocked. First of all, I was shocked by his bedside manner. He was literally, without a doubt, the nicest doctor I have ever seen. Ever. And believe me, I've seen a lot of doctors. He didn't sit across from me--he pulled up a chair and sat beside me. Patted my arm. Asked about my life and expressed interest. Hugged me when I left. Gave me his cell phone number. And get this--he is the director of the entire department at UK. He's very well-known all over the COUNTRY. Highly respected, well published, quoted in health magazines all the time. And he was that freaking nice. I was blown away. But the other shock to me was what he said as he sat down. Apparently, my remaining ovary is twice the size it should be. This indicates that it probably has a mass on it. Now, he didn't imply it was anything other than another endometrial tumor, so I'm not thinking I have cancer or anything, but endometrial tumors are considered pre-cancerous, meaning you don't want them. So...long story short, he is recommending a full hysterectomy. And not only that, he thinks I need a full-on open surgery, versus laparoscopic surgery, which means recovery will be a bit rougher than average. You all, I can't tell you how shocked I was. It's funny--I'm a glass-half-empty person. I go into every appointment thinking the worst and then feel foolish when all is well. I was blown away that something was actually amiss. Now, I'm not attached to any part of my body that could become cancer. I've seen two loved ones suffer and I have no interest. However, I am not looking forward to a lifetime of hormone replacement. So, despite the fact that this man is literally tops in his field, I'm getting a 2nd opinion. I just need to hear someone else say, "Yep. You need to yank that shit out of there." If all is confirmed, surgery will be early summer. What a fabulous way to spend summer break. Another reason to enjoy this upcoming vacation as much as possible, right?

Alright, I've rambled enough. Writing this blog is so therapeutic to me--writing helps me to put everything in my life into perspective. If you read to the end, I sincerely appreciate you listening. I'll return the favor any time. I'll be back with more funny kid anecdotes and other crazy tales of our life next week (along with some vacation stories--yippee!). Enjoy your weekend--and your spring break!


  1. Wow. I finally read this. Here's hoping that either your second opinion disagrees or that your recovery is quick! Good luck with everything!

  2. First, I want to say congratulations on getting your house refinanced. It can help so much, financially! Second, I hope you enjoy Amelia Island. As a child, I lived near Amelia Island (actually in a town called St. Mary's, Georgia) and it is beautiful! I hope you enjoy the time you have there, rejuvenate your soul, and laugh and smile a lot! Third, I want to give you reassurance that just because you are going to have a full hysterectomy, that does not mean that you will have to have a lifetime full of hormone replacement. My mom had a partial hysterectomy at age 34 (they didn't want to take everything out because she was so young) and then had a full hysterectomy at age 44. She is only, now, 11 years later, searching for some type of natural hormones that will help her; however, this is not a absolute must. I will pray for you throughout these months leading up to the surgery, throughout the surgery, and recovery.
    For now, enjoy Amelia Island, the beautiful sun, the amazing beach, and your friend!