Like Seinfeld..

This post is about nothing.

Actually, I had a post in my head--I wanted to write about all the funny things that the kids have been saying lately. We've found that age four has been the age of saying-all-things-funny around here. They are really starting to make sense of the world, and they're finally able (well, sort of) to put their thoughts into words. The result is constant humor--they say the most high-larious stuff all the time. So, I started writing...and then I realized I couldn't remember a damn thing they'd said! All I remember is laughing at them. Clearly, I need to make an effort to write down the funny stuff, because my aging brain isn't going to keep up with it. Sigh...

So, instead, I'll just do the whole stream-of-consciousness thing (and honestly, I couldn't even remember that term--I had to sit here and think for a good 30 seconds! I think the kids are draining my ability to remember things...).  Here's what's been going on around here this week.

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SICKNESS! Oh.My.Gosh. We just cannot get well.  It started with Amelia back in the "Trip House" days.  She got better, we enjoyed oh, maybe five days of nobody being sick, and then Anderson started.  Same old funk--cough, fever, took him to the doctor, got antibiotics, blah blah blah.  He started to get better...then Marty got sick (which prompted the whole PTSD post...).  We made it through that one fairly unscathed, and then Amelia started snotting/coughing/nastiness again. I mean, REALLY???  No fever or lethargy, so she kept going to school, until one day I picked her up, and yowzah, she had a seriously funky eye!  Side-bar: We call it "the scare-eye" in our house because not all that long ago, Marty got pink eye. It was a pretty bad case, and his entire eye socket swelled up--he looked like he'd been punched. Anderson coined the term when he looked at Marty funny and said, "Daddy, you have a scare eye!", and then proceeded to scrunch up his face in an attempt to imitate the jacked-up look.  He was right--it was kind of frightening--so pink eye is now known as "scare-eye" around here. In fact, when I went to the kids' preschool to pick up Anderson and ask about their pink eye policy, I literally almost said, "Hey, what's your policy on scare-eye?"  They'd have thought I was insane.  Anyway, Amelia went to the doctor, where we discovered that she has bronchitis, scare-eye, and an ear infection! More antibiotics for her. Two days later (this past Wednesday), Anderson--who is still on antibiotics, mind you--spiked a fever and started acting like he was in pain, which basically meant that he was acting anxious and using a lot of sad echolalia. He DID actually say that his ear hurt, which I was excited about because in the past, he hasn't been able to verbalize any of his physical feelings. However, that was slightly short-lived because he is prone to saying all kinds of crazy things, so it was hard to actually believe him.  But then, he woke up twice in the night crying, which is not at all like him, so of course he went back to the doctor. Ruptured eardrum. New antibiotics, plus some fun ear drops (think about how fun this is with a kid with sensory issues...).  That was Thursday, today is Saturday. I am coming down with respiratory gunk, Amelia is hacking up a lung, Anderson is stir-crazy and still not thoroughly enjoying the ear drops and is also coughing. We are in a bad way around here, folks. I've said it before and I'll say it again--I want to market a Lysol bomb that you set off in your house and it settles and disinfects. You know, like the bug bombs you can use when your house has a bug problem. I totally think this is marketable. In the meantime, if you want to send some healing vibes our way, we will take them.

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Amelia currently has a little bit of chaetophobia, which means she is afraid of loose hair. She's also afraid of fuzz.  Sadly, I find this hysterical.  Apparently Anderson does, too, because he often torments her about it.  It all started one night during bath time, when Amelia saw something floating in the water and asked what it was. Not thinking about her weirdness, I said something to the effect of, "Oh, it's just a little fuzz..."  Screaming and wrestling ensued, as I had to at least rinse off the shampoo before letting her get out. Anderson started imitating her crying, saying, "It's an fuzz, it's an fuzz!" and pretending to want to get out of the tub.  Since then, every once in awhile when they're in the tub, he will say, in a very girlish, drama-filled voice, "It's an fuzz, it's an fuzz!", which often morphs into "It's an hair, it's an hair!" because he knows that will get her going as well.  I know...mean to laugh at your kid's phobia. I'm one to talk--I have some odd phobias myself--but it's pretty funny watching him tease her. Almost like he's a typical brother irritating his sister.  That boy.

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I recently told Amelia that I am a teacher. I've said this to the kids before and they've looked at me like, "whatever, can you get me some fruit snacks please?". However, this time when I said it, her little eyes lit up and she excitedly said, "Like Ms. Wiz (Liz...)?"  Amelia LOVES her teacher, Ms. Liz.  Like, really loves her. In fact, one day I was teasing Amelia and asked her if she was Daddy's girl or Mommy's girl. Hoping she'd pick me over Daddy, just as a jab at him because she is clearly really a Daddy's girl, she got this very contemplative look on her face and finally said, "I'm Ms. Wiz's girl!".  So, when she realized I was a teacher like Ms. Wiz, she was soooo excited! This made me excited, because like I said, she really is a Daddy's girl, so I was kind of hoping this would buy me a little more of her favor.  Unfortunately, it didn't really play out that way. Now she just thinks everybody is a teacher. I try to convince her that people have lots of different jobs. She isn't buying it. Oh well.

And now, speaking of teachers, I'll leave you with my new favorite video of one of my kids. This is Anderson, "reading" a doctor book. Actually, he has the whole thing memorized--beginning to end. If you look at the words on the pages, you'll see he knows it word-for-word. He also "reads" with expression, AND (and this is my most favorite part), he holds the book with the "teacher book grasp".  You know, with the thumb and pinky, the ways teachers hold the book when they read aloud to the kids. He holds the book up to show the class. Melt my teacher heart! My stupid memory ran out of space so you only get to hear a few pages, but wow. LOVE. Also, ignore the messy room. Remember--sickness around here!!

Enjoy the weekend...