Sunday, July 7, 2013

24 Hours...

I thought it might be interesting, maybe even a little thought-provoking, to describe a typical 24 hours in the Jones household. Some of it is, I'm sure, pretty typical stuff that goes on in most houses with 4 year olds. And some of it--well, some of it probably never happens anywhere but this house. Like ANYWHERE. EVER.

Here is a typical day in our house. I'm choosing a summer day--a day that I'm with them the entire day.

7:00:  Anderson wakes up. He fights with Marty over some oddity with his breakfast...his granola bar is broken, not enough chocolate on his pancakes. The wailing wakes me up, so I get up, too.

7:15:  Amelia wakes up. She's either very very cheery, or very very grouchy. She demands breakfast on the couch while watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

7:30:  I sit down with my first cup of coffee. Marty continues to get ready for work. Anderson and/or Amelia continue to request different things (milk, wipes, toys) that require me to get up. By the time I get to drink coffee, it's lukewarm.  Mmmm.

7:45:  Anderson asks me to come throw Tofu and "desk him up". I freaking LOVE that term--"desk him up".  Anderson came up with it himself and it is FABULOUS.  This game involves us going into Anderson's room and throwing his Tofus (he actually has 3, but really only loves/needs the one) so that they hit the ceiling. Then, all of a sudden, he'll say "Let's desk them up!" and we rush to put the Tofus on the computer desk. The big Tofu goes on the bottom, the smaller Tofus are on top of him. They sit for a minute, and then the throwing game begins again. This game is a daily occurrence in the summer, and it makes him so dang happy that I really struggle to say no when he asks me to play.

8:15: Walk into living room to check on Amelia, who is still transfixed on the TV screen. Sister would watch TV 24/7 if we would allow it. She is still eating breakfast. She's also the slowest eater known to mankind.

8:30:  Anderson starts to beg to go outside. I put him off, saying Amelia is still eating. Various levels of whining ensue. I tell Amelia to hurry up. She takes an infinitely small bite, still staring at the TV.

8:45:  Anderson begs to go outside again. I tell him he has to wait. Repeat whining.

8:50:  Anderson asks for fruit snacks. I try to put him off. Insert more whining. I give in and tell myself that it's no worse than some of the other things he eats for breakfast. Plus, I get the kind with fruit and veggie juice in them. That makes it acceptable. Right?

8:55:  Anderson asks for Chex Mix. I tell him no because I know he will not eat it. Instead I tell him to come into the bedroom so we can get his clothes on. He runs and hides in my bed.

9:00:  Anderson asks where Tofu is. We start searching the house for him. For every 5 seconds we look, his voice level and whining increases exponentially. I call Tofu an asshole under my breath because I am certain that he hides on purpose. Dig Tofu out from under the couch.

9:15:  I finally corral Anderson into the bedroom and start to help him get his clothes on. He insists on putting his shirt on himself. I try to show him the "big hole" (aka the bottom), he jerks away and insists on doing it himself, but starts whining when he gets stuck.

9:20:  I finish getting Anderson dressed. Go into the living room. Amelia is still eating the same toaster waffle and staring at the TV. I turn the TV off and tell Amelia to come get dressed. We fight over her outfit; she throws herself down on the floor several times before we reach an agreement.

9:30:  I go get myself dressed, brush my teeth, wash my face. Throw my hair up into a ponytail.

9:30-10:50  Various outdoor activities--playing in the yard, going to the park, going for a walk, etc.

11:00:  Lunchtime. I throw together a hodgepodge of stuff based on time, how many snacks they've had, etc.  Something simple--I always include a fresh fruit or veggie, but I ain't gonna lie--the main entree isn't always that healthy. They love Ramen noodles, macaroni, peanut butter and jelly...I tell myself that the healthy part of the lunch negates the gross part. Plus, eating that stuff is what childhood is about, right?

11:15:  Anderson takes about 4 bites of lunch and asks for a cookie. Insert negotiations here--number of bites of each. Fortunately, he's pretty good about doing what I ask. Anderson earns a cookie of some sort.

11:30:  Anderson is done and running around; Amelia is on her third bite.

11:35:  Anderson asks where Tofu is. Again, the little jackass has managed to hide. Anderson wails as I search every blanket in the house. Find Tofu under the TV stand.

11:45:  Start naptime routine of brushing teeth. Anderson hides again. Force him out from under the blanket and brush his teeth. Brush Amelia's teeth.

12:00:  Amelia goes and gets in her bed like an angel child. Anderson hides yet again. Drag him out from the garbage closet, get him in bed.

12:05:  Anderson starts whining for his white lotion. Whining gets louder and louder. Eventually go into Amelia's room and start rummaging through all 1,000 toy bins, looking for the white lotion. I find the brown lotion, the blue lotion, and the elusive black lotion. No white lotion. I begin negotiations about taking a different lotion to bed. He protests and then I pull the Mom card and tell him if he doesn't take the blue lotion and go to sleep, we won't go outside later. He reluctantly takes said blue lotion.

12:10-2:00:  BLISS.................................................................................................................................

2:00:  Anderson emerges, immediately asks for fruit snacks. I give them to him. Yeah, he eats at least two packs a day. Whatever.

2:30:  Amelia emerges. Again, she's either very happy, or very mean. She has a snack.

2:45:  Anderson asks where Tofu is.  Seriously.  I'm about to install a clapper on the damn thing. Search house, find Tofu in my bathroom on my counter.

3:00-5:00:  Various outdoor activities--playing in the sprinkler, going to the pool, whatever we feel like doing. Kids are always good during this time.

5:00:  Tell kids it's time to come in for dinner. Insert much whining on Anderson's part. Agree to 4 more minutes, and set the timer on my phone.

5:05:  Get kids inside, start cooking dinner.

5:45:  Marty is home, we eat dinner. Repeat same bribery process as lunch with Anderson.

6:00-7:30:  Outside again. We clearly spend a lot of time outside. Anderson usually mows, weed-eats, and leaf-blows during this time. Amelia plays in her Pinterest sand.

7:30-7:50:  Bathtime. Bribe children to take off clothes and put into dirty clothes. Wash dirty children.  Beg them to splash softly. Beg again. Get them out and get PJs on.

7:50:  Snack--kids eat Chex Mix, popcorn, something like that. We watch elevator videos, and Anderson pretends to ride his beloved "Otis" elevators, quoting word-for-word from some of the videos.

8:10:  Reading and rocking. Kids read with Daddy. Amelia sits and listens quietly, Anderson is all over the place.

8:20:  Brush teeth, bedtime. Amelia asks to go potty; I take her while Daddy tries to brush Anderson's teeth. Amelia gets into bed, asks for water. I get her some water. Amelia says goodnight like a good little girl and goes to sleep.

8:25: Daddy puts Anderson into bed. Anderson asks for Tofu. Two person manhunt for Tofu begins. Tofu has disappeared. Finally, he is discovered in the garage. I continue to curse Tofu under my breath. Anderson gets into bed.

8:30: Anderson comes out for his ritual bathroom break.  Marty "sets the alarm". Anderson uses the bathroom and when the alarm goes off, gets back into bed.

8:32:  Anderson continues his bedtime ritual by coming out and asking for a drink of water. Daddy gets him water and tells him to go to sleep.

8:35:  EVERYONE is in bed. It's quiet.

8:38:  Anderson is wailing. We wait to see if it will stop or get louder. It gets louder. I go in; Anderson wants brown lotion. I sigh, go back into Amelia's room and dig out brown lotion. I tell Anderson to go to sleep.

8:40: Kids are in bed. Anderson is still singing.

9:00:  All is quiet. Dishes may or may not get done. I get into bed. Ahhhhhhhh....

And we start all over again the next day.  Good times. :-)


  1. I am convinced that boo and blankie hide from the boys. bedtime without them is the worst possible thing ever.

  2. Whats funny is, my 24 hours wouldn't be a whole lot different. Olivia...! And they like to mix their cereals & throw a fit if I put the wrong flavor up top. We cry & search for lost blankies & lovies. And fruit snacks... damn those things!